I had heard a variety of different things when I asked “what happens in 200hr yoga teacher training?”. I wanted to have an idea of what I was getting myself into, frankly. And the theme of most answers was something along the lines of – it will change your life. Admittedly, that sounds terrifying – did I really need something that would change my life? Change who I am, change what I want, change the direction that life is heading – those are big scary things that I wasn’t sure I was ready for.
About a month before training began, we got a list of things we would need for training – specifically a list of books. I got excited, purchased everything on the list – philosophy, anatomy, pose breakdown and sequence information, breath work. Showing up to the studio, there was about 40 people in the training, which was a lot. We went around the room and did introductions including our why for taking YTT. Looking around, I felt like the old lady of the room but none the less, mentioned that my why was taking back control of my life. And at the time, I meant that – I felt lost, out of sorts in my body, really lacking a community and sense of self.
I learned very quickly how to be a student again. It had been about 15 years since my MBA program completed, and it’s a different mindset going into a classroom to learn and retain again. The program was rigorous – every Saturday for 16 weeks, sometimes Sundays too (typically twice a month) plus Tuesday nights for 2 hours on zoom, and we were required to take 3 yoga classes a week. In addition to those requirements, we had homework, a book report, 10 hours of Karma Yoga volunteering, and 25 hours of peer to peer practice teaching, as well as two group project classes – one as a “midterm” and one as our final presentation. I think everyone goes through the same mental cycle – you are excited, then a WTF am I doing moment, followed by this-is-impossible-and-I-won’t-ever-get-this-done to wow, I’m starting to retain things and then the final countdown to being done.
As one would expect, the first part of training was the pose breakdowns – we spent a lot of time going through alignment of various poses, breaking them out into groups, practicing the alignment and teaching cues to help students with those alignments. We learned your Sun As, and your Sun Bs, and learned how to start using our words to get people where they needed to go in a pose or flow. We got into the 8 limbs of yoga, the Yamas and Niyamas, aspects of breath work and a wonderful weekend of anatomy, class planning, messaging, and all the other fun parts of teaching a class. The most impactful for me personally though, was all of the yogic philosophy that we learned. “The Fall of the Human Intellect” is really a must read, with an open mind simply to take in the information. What I found as I started to dive deeper into these philosophy discussions was that I wasn’t craving control as I thought, but instead needed to find my self again.
At the closing circle of training, we were asked to bring in two items – one that represented where we were at the beginning of training and one that represented where we were at the completion. I landed on two items – a remote control and a microphone. As mentioned earlier, I wanted to take back control of my life, hence the control. The microphone was where I ended – I had found my voice again.
Are you the person that doesn’t ever speak up if something isn’t right? It can be little things, maybe you want sauce for a dish at a restaurant, maybe you wanted a little more taken off on your haircut or the toner a different color. Maybe, its as simple as not saying “I don’t care” when asked what’s for dinner and instead voicing what you would like. Any of that sound familiar? Throughout training, we would practice teaching classes and what I was learning about myself is I felt very uncomfortable using my voice. I’m not like that at all in a professional setting for work, but outside of that, I wasn’t sticking up for myself. And I’m not entirely sure where it got lost, and there as been lots of therapy sessions talking about that, but what was important is understanding the present, and giving myself little to dos to get better. I started with just people out in public – saying hello to cashiers, asking for help if I couldn’t find something. I got my hair colored and wasn’t entirely happy with it and told her. And what I found out? She was so happy that I said something. Because with practice, I have learned that people don’t typically react negatively to you speaking up. So start with small things and gain that confidence. And then maybe start tackling something bigger.
So, what did I learn at 200hr YTT? That I had a voice and I could use that voice. Was I still terrified to teach my first public yoga class? Totally – and still do get a little nervous, but I’m about 25 classes in now, and I get a little more comfortable with each class. But beyond that, I have a stronger relationship with my husband now than I did when we first started dating – because I have forced myself to be a better communicator. I am learning to communicate with him at a deeper level, allowing a deeper level of intimacy. I also have a deeper relationship with myself. Am I still a work in progress? ABSOLUTELY – that’s why they call yoga a practice. So we practice – try something new, scare yourself, gain confidence, fail, learn, and then try again. That is Life, Now – in the present.
Life, now. 
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